


It’s Quiet Uptown

by DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose



Category: All Elite Wrestling
Genre: Angst, At least we’ll always have Chicago, Cuddles, Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I wrote this because I was really sad and I needed some Catharsis, ITS ALL ANGST, I’m bad at tagging, Kenny cries a whole freaking lot, Kenny misses Kota, Love Confessions, M/M, Matt and Nick are terrible friends, Minor Ibushi Kota/Kenny Omega, Revolution feels, Sensory Overload, we are the elite and we are bad at emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:47:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28858347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose/pseuds/DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose
Summary: February 29th, 2020.Chicago, Illinois.A night that’s hard to forget. The night aRevolutiontook place
Relationships: Kenny Omega/"Hangman" Adam Page
Comments: 13
Kudos: 20





	It’s Quiet Uptown

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by two things. 
> 
> Matt’s post, which was captioned ‘At least we’ll always have Chicago’
> 
> And, oddly enough, It’s Quiet Uptown from Hamilton. Yes, I had a Hamilton phase. Yes, it still slaps. Yes, the musical misrepresents how horrible some historical figures were, and Yes, there is literally no discernible connection between the two scenarios.

1

2

3\. 

It's over. 

It feels like the whole of Chicago is yelling at them, and the harmony of delight and disappointment makes his ears ring. Everything feels like it's shaking.

He sees blue eyes, breaking through the motion blur. He reaches out and clings to Adam, like a liar looking for forgiveness from a headstone. 

"It's okay... you're okay..." It's said softly, and gently, but it's not at all convincing. The words can't be convincing when Adam is already crying. 

"It's all over now." They work their way to their feet, using the ropes to assist them. Kenny can still feel his jaw pulsing with pain after the golden trigger. Just that thought sends a stabbing pain into his chest, and he loses balance for a moment, the world is moving under his feet.

He's still in shock, he knows he is. It doesn't feel real just yet, he doesn't know if it ever will. He does know he will cry when it does. It's just human nature to push away what we could never understand. 

Nothing is ever built to last, but he had hoped that the Elite would stand the test of time. The people in that group were his entire world. He loved them, all of them. He already misses Nick's bratty teasing, he already misses Matt's sarcasm.

Were the titles worth fighting for? Was it all worth dying for?

They're back in their room before the static in his mind has cleared, and he can think again. He knows that Matt and Nick had approached them. He thinks Adam cussed them out, but all he can remember is that Adam was holding them up when he did. Protected him. 

He hated having to be cared for, he hated being a burden. He knows he's just in the way. That's why this all happened, he was taking up their spot, and they wanted it back. He should have laid down for them. He should have yielded. He should have done what was best for his friendships. He should have been better.

Adam helps him to the bed, gently placing a bag of ice on his jaw. It's the closest thing to an affectionate gesture as they ever get. Adam sits at the desk in the room, and pours a glass. 

It's quiet. Kenny's never liked the quiet. 

Kenny is sobbing his heart out by this point. There's nothing else he can do, and he feels powerless. He's lost all sense of control, and the he feels as if his faith walks on broken glass. He's so hurt and exhausted that all he feels is the dull throbbing pain in his jaw as he sobs. 

He has his knees pulled up to his chest as he sobs his heart out. His heart was hurting, so much so that it manifested as almost physical pain in his chest. He was also pretty sure his hand was broken. 

This felt unforgivable. 

Matt and Nick, his brothers, men he loved like they were his own flesh and blood... had used the golden trigger on him. The same move that he used to perform with a man he was desperately trying to forget. A man he longed for, a man he missed like a man in space misses air. 

He knows he never deserved Kota in the first place. Why did the universe choose to give him just a taste of something he so desperately craved, but couldn't have? Why did memories of Kota follow him everywhere.

Was this torment the cost of his sins? Had they used the golden trigger because they had finally realised how terrible Kenny was?

The sobs wrack his chest. He's never felt so useless and weak in his life, it feels like something in his heart has died. There's never been a low like this, he doesn't know what to do.

The distance from Ibushi, the pressure to succeed, the questions about the Cleaner...it had all piled up. Of all the things on his mind, the one to break him is the very things that should have protected him. He couldn't take it anymore, he wants to escape, he wants to be okay.

He's going through the unimaginable.

He had confided in Matt and Nick. He had loved and trusted them. They were family, and he feels so betrayed. At a point where he was already conflicted, he was already low, they had spat in his face and told him exactly what they thought of his feelings.

He supposes that he never really knew them after all. He was totally blindsided, and he feels so foolish. He feels like he's drowning, but he doesn't even want to claw his way to the surface.

Wouldn't it be so much easier to just swim down?

He's so confused... what did he do to them to deserve this? He knows he deserves it, that much is obvious, but what had caused this? Did the titles really mean more to them than their friendship? 

The thought alone was heartbreaking. He rocked back and forth in an effort to soothe himself, but nothing is working. He just keeps rocking, rocking, rocking. Back and forth, over and over, trying to calm himself back down. It's not going to, but he has no other choice. He has nothing to turn to.

Adam was drinking, more than usual. He wants to be numb, he doesn't want to feel anything. He gives up, abandoning the half-empty glass. 

There's someone else who needs him right now. They need each other.

He sits beside Kenny, on the bed, gently taking the hand that isn't broken in his own. There's silence for a while. They're trying to find the words.

"They're supposed to be our best friends." Adam says, bitterly. He'd seen this coming, he'd tried to warn Kenny. "They're supposed to love us... they're supposed to care..."

"They don't love me." Kenny says simply. Adam is about to interrupt, but decides to let him finish. 

"They're not that stupid." Kenny continues, wiping his eyes. Adam can feel every word. They have weight, and hearing Kenny say that, someone who he adores with every bit of himself... it takes his breath away. He can feel himself suffocating.

"What do you mean?" Adam asks, cautiously

"Hearts are like bread dough. The longer you mess about with it, the harder it becomes." He sighed. "When you've been betrayed, you stop trusting. When you part with a loved one, you care about everything just a little less. They know that I'm a liability." 

"You're not a liability, Kenny." Adam says, gently. He would ask where all this has come from, but he knows there's no point. 

"Look at where we are." Adam says, gesturing out to the Chicago skyline. “And think of where we started. You’ve come so far... the fact that you have endured all that you have... the fact that you've kept your head above water, the fact that you're alive, is a miracle. So just stay alive. That would be enough."

Kenny looks at him, eyes shining with tears. The pain weighs out the pride, and he's in ruins as he throws his arms around Adam's neck, sobbing into his shoulder. Adam held him gently, rubbing his back and rocking quietly back and forth. 

"I know I don't deserve you, Kenny... I know that I'm the cause of the rift between you and the Bucks.. I'm the cause of all the fights..."

"I don't pretend to know the challenges we're facing- and I know there's no replacing what we've lost. We need time... but..." Kenny wipes his eyes. "I'm not afraid. Just let me stay here by your side and-" he sniffled. "that would be enough."

They hold each other close. There's a long silence, the only sounds being Kenny occasionally fidgeting, trying to find a position where he's not laying on his broken hand. He does, eventually, and he settled, just tucking his head into Adam's chest. They lay like that for god knows how long. Adam breaks the silence eventually, when the absence of noise becomes too much to bear.

"Penny for your thoughts?" 

"I was thinking about you, actually." Kenny smiled, even though tear tracks are still on his cheeks, and he looks like he's about to start crying all over again. "You protected me. When they tried to talk to me, you told them to go away." 

"You're not mad, are you?" He asks softly. He hates how obviously nervous he sounds.

Kenny kisses him on the nose. "Of course not. It was sweet of you." 

Adam feels a blush creeping across his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose.

"How's your hand...?" He asked gently.

Kenny sniffled slightly. "Hurts. Everything hurts."

"Yeah, it's going to." Adam says, softly. It's not comforting, and he knows it, but sometimes there's no comfort to give. Sometimes all you can do is endure. 

"I knew they wouldn't go easy on us... but I never expected-" He doesn't even need to finish the sentence. Adam knows what he means, he can tell by the pity in his eyes. At least Kenny thinks it's pity. "They gave us hell." He whispered.

"Yeah, they did." Adam said gently, wiping his own tears. "But we gave them hell right back." 

"Damn right we did."

"Do you want to talk? You can tell me anything. Hell, if you have committed a murder and need to get it off your chest, now is the time to confess, I'm not going to remember shit tomorrow."

"Well... I suppose I do have a confession to make." He admitted. 

"Well, you can't say something like that and not deliver." Adam chuckled slightly, and that was when Kenny kissed him.

He kissed back. He'd assumed all of this had been totally platonic, just being there for a friend in need. But he knew, in his heart, that he was craving more.

"I love you."

"I love you too." 

— 

He brushes his fingers across the award, wonders if Kenny is doing the same. It had almost been a year. He could hardly believe it himself. It was one hell of a year too. 

He still remembers that fateful night in February, clear as day. He remembers when Kenny kissed him, told him he loved him for the first time. He's not sure when the last time was. That's a frightening thoughts, and he tried not to dwell on it for too long.

He's alone now. 

There's no one to dissuade him from having another glass. He'd played with fire and gotten burned, and he couldn't get another try. It broke his heart inside, but there was nothing he could do. He puts down his glass and closes his eyes. A single tear falls down his cheek.

At least he'll always have Chicago.


End file.
